Thanks for the inspiration, Ruth

I should really be going to bed, or at least trying since I’m not really sleepy…but after writing an article today I am inspired to write a blog post instead.

The article is about the story of Ruth from the Old Testament of the Bible.Now, I have never read the Bible other than select verses here and there that seemed to be printed on just about everything imaginable. However, I found this story to interesting and inspiring. I’m not going to retell the story, so if you haven’t read it you should (READ IT HERE).

Sometimes we feel like we can’t possibly handle what is being thrown at us. I know that I often feel like I am being pulled in a hundred different directions at once and wonder how I am going to make it through. I admit that I whine and complain and am generally unpleasant when I get stressed out. I assume that the great majority of people have this same affliction toward stresses. In my latest blog post I talked about all the issues I have been facing in my conversion to Islam. These things have caused some internal conflict within myself that I think has been resolved by reading and understanding the meaning of this Bible story.

Ruth was able to handle everything that was put in her path. Not only did she handle it, she didn’t complain about it either. She knew what she had to do for herself and for Naomi and she did it without doubt or question. The path may have been hard, but there were shards of hope thrown in to keep her looking up and on track. God was letting her know that she just had to keep going to reach the end of her journey and not to give up along the way.

“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it”
– 1 Corinthians 10:13

This verse is pretty much the definition of what Ruth and Naomi were going through. Just like it says, God provided for them a way out they only had to endure the journey in order to find it.

Another major theme in the story is the devotion and commitment of Ruth toward Naomi. This is a dedication that should be put toward everyone we love. We should be ready to act selflessly in order to protect our loved ones and keep them safe. These are the people who will be there for us when we have problems, the people who we will turn to for help. It only makes sense that we should treat them in such a devoted manner.

This is another thing that I desperately need to work on. I know that I am horrible at showing my gratitude, it’s just not something that I have ever been good at. I am so gracious for everything that my husband does, he is an excellent father, a wonderful husband and a great provider. All of that being said, I get mad over the smallest things and in the end the fight just isn’t worth it. My mother, as mentioned in other posts, is a point of contention for me. We fight over things that she says to me. I have been trying hard to not let them bother me, but sometimes the anger just comes out before I realize it. I want to change that. Life is too short to let such things bother me.

Now, with this new found inspiration, I am going to try my best to deal with all the things that are thrown my directions that would normally get me down. I am going to try and remember that at the end of this test, the way out will be revealed and I will be blessed immensely for my journey. I am also going to strive to treat my loved ones with a higher regard, especially my husband and my mother. Afterall, I owe my life to one and the other blessed me with a beautiful family.

This may not be the most well written post, I just wanted to get this out before I forgot what I wanted to say. I am rushing because Silas is ready for a bottle…so, no revisions! Forgive my sloppy writing and I’m sure my many misspellings & grammatical errors! Peace & Love! Cassie

To be thankful

It’s thanksgiving and around here that means a day filled with family and good food. We all bring food and spend the whole day sitting around the table talking about whatever crosses our mind. We have never done the whole “tell everyone what you are thankful for” thing, although I think it would be nice to hear everyone talk about their blessings. It could be a positive, uplifting experience. So, I am going to tell everyone what I am thankful for and see if I can’t get that husband of mine to contribute what he is thankful for as well.

What I am thankful for:
I am thankful for my wonderful husband. He is a great father and does whatever he as to in order to take care of us. I am also thankful for my family and how then have been mostly good at accepting my conversion to Islam.

I am thankful for both of my children. Merrick makes my heart so happy everyday and Silas’s smile is a constant reminder why I love being a mommy.

I am thankful that we have a way to support ourselves and feed out children as there are so many people who are struggling to survive and find work right now. We have truly been blessed in this.

I am thankful to be alive and to be able to share this day with all of the people I love.

And finally, I am thankful that God and led me to him. I was lost, but since I have found him things just seem so much better overall and I am just so much happier.

What Chase is thankful for:
I am thankful that God has supplied me with two healthy children, with the greatest wife a man could ask for and the means to provide for them. I am thankful for my parents, my brothers and everyone else who loves me. I am thankful that God has led me where he has, and I pray that he will continue to lead me to where he wants me to be in the future.

What Merrick is thankful for:
Since he’s 3 we just asked him what makes him happy and this is what he said
“Pooping in the potty and getting my Batman car.”

What Silas is thankful for:
Since he’s 6 months this was really just more for fun and the cuteness factor
“Ahhhhhh” and a really big smile!

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours. I pray that you will be able to find something to be thankful for today and always.
~The Jacobs Family

God, I love ya.

God, I love ya

"God, I love ya." ~Merrick

Starting with the good:
My three year old son, Merrick, has been very interested in watching my husband and I pray. A couple of days ago while I was in the bedroom praying he went into his room and got out one of his small blankets and spread it out on the floor and informed me that he was going to pray as well. He wanted his own flash cards and he took one of his dada’s hats to wear as well. It may be the sweetest thing I have ever seen, and I am proud of him. Today, when he decided it was a good time to pray he even “put his head on the floor” and started saying “God, I love ya.” It’s ridiculously cute and I can’t help but smile and laugh when he does it. When he’s done he puts his hat and his cards in his hat drawer and puts his blanket away also. These may be the only items that he has ever taken the initiative of putting away himself!

And on to the not so good:
After all of this cuteness I decided to show my mom the picture I took of him “putting his head on the floor”. She kinda killed my buzz. She acted totally appalled at the picture and that I was encouraging her grandson to do that. When I told her that we were converting she acted like she was going to be supportive. Since then she has informed me that she will not leave the house with me if I wear “one of those things” over my head (it’s a scarf mom!), seems totally freaked out by me wearing long sleeve shirts and told my husband that she didn’t want to hear him speak any Arabic when he mentioned it.

Now, I don’t wear a scarf on my head all of the time, I’m still trying to get used to it. However, it seems ridiculous that I have to take it off before I go to my moms in order to avoid her comments. Her and my grandmother are convinced that by “wearing that thing on my head” I am destined to become a victim of a hate crime. Honestly, I don’t wear it around the town that I live in because it is a small, redneck kind of town and I just don’t want to deal with the ignorance of the people here…however I do wear it when we go to the metroplex. (And guess what, I’m not the only person I see with a scarf on their head)

It’s all a little frustrating to me. I have always felt like I can talk to her about nearly anything. I was scared to death to tell her that we were converting and she told me that she didn’t understand why I would be scared to tell her and seemed like she was going to be very supportive. I guess that the supportive thing is getting old and it’s time to ignore my feelings about it.

I’m not mad at her, I’m sure this is all hard for her to understand. After all, I have always cursed like a sailor (still working on this one), worn low cut blouses and of course never associated myself with any form of religion. To say that I have changed a few things about myself may be an understatement. I am hoping that she will recognize that the changes are for the better and learn to be more supportive, even if she doesn’t agree 100% with my choice. I also hope that she will recognize that Merrick is my son and I will raise him the way that I believe to be right and respect that as well. I guess that only time will tell.

Finding my faith

When I was a child I assumed that I was a Christian, simply because that’s what I was told I was and that’s what everyone I knew was. I went to church with friends, more for socializing than for learning or worship, but never really felt like I fit in. Once I became a teenager I realized that I didn’t have to be a Christian and that I was capable of deciding for myself what I believed to be true in terms of a higher being.

I have always known that I believe in “something” and I have always felt that this “something” was watching over everyone. I also knew that I didn’t agree with some of the things in Christianity and that I have yet to meet a person who claims to be a Christian and practices what they preach. They all talk about being good people and how it’s important to let God judge people, yet no one I meet leads that life. (I would like to point out that I am not in any way coming down of Christians or arguing their beliefs and I am in no way saying that every Christian acts this way, as I’m sure there are a great many who lead very moral Christian lives.)

Admittedly, I have prayed to God on many occasions for help, even though I had no idea what I really believed. I even prayed for guidance as a woman at Wal-Mart instructed me to do after I would not accept Jesus right there on the baby food isle. She assured me that if I prayed he would lead me to him; I just had to be willing to see it when he did.

A few weeks later, my husband decided to research Islam. This research was not meant to be a life changing event, just merely a want for knowledge on the subject. He and I share the belief that you can’t judge things such as this without at least some true, unbiased knowledge on the subject. We both were tired of hearing people bash Muslims and call all Muslims terrorist; so his research began.

In the beginning I was less than interested in learning about Islam, I didn’t mind being ignorant, it just meant that I kept my mouth shut about something I knew nothing about. However, since it was something my husband was so interested it, I couldn’t help but listen to him when he spoke about it. Our talks at night before bed sparked my interest in the subject and I found myself reading about Islamic beliefs and practices for hours on end. It seemed like the more I read and the more we talked about it the more it made sense to me. It really seemed to fit into the things I had always believed.

One day it just clicked that this was God answering my prayer for guidance. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my husband, about my revelation as I thought they would think I was crazy. A couple of days later my husband told me that he wanted to convert and he was ready to do it right then, he had absolutely no doubts. It was both a relief and a little scary at the same time. I felt almost like we couldn’t possibly have spent enough time researching before we came to this conclusion. The reality is that sometimes we just know in our hearts that something is right, no matter how long we spend gaining the knowledge to support the feeling.

The following day I decided to tell my husband that I had also been thinking about converting and also about my fears and concerns. He agreed to wait until I was ready before he converted so that we could do it together. That was about 5 weeks ago. Since then I have come to terms with our decision and am totally comfortable with it. We have told our family and our friends and have for the most part have been met with support and understanding.  Going through this has shown me how blessed I am to have such caring and loving friends and family in our lives.

Last night my husband and I prayed for the first time. I’ll admit we did it in English and we used flash cards to guide us through so it was a little rough, but not as hard as we thought it would be. Today, I prayed alone for the first time (once again in English and with the flash cards). It is a lot different than anything I have done before, but it felt right.

I know, without doubt, that I have made the right decision. I also know that I want to be a better person, not only for myself and my family but for God as well. There are many changes that I will have to make in order to be the person I need to be. I have taken the first and hardest step by finding God and I feel like with the support of my husband, family and friends, the rest will come much more easily.